Crack Smut
by Silith145
Summary: The dice decide which two characters will be paired up for some smutty action. Will I get an easy pairing to write about or one that's totally crack? Chapter every week. I hope
1. Rules and Introductions

Crack and Smut

The idea behind this came from a request of a friend of mine. The conversation went like this.

Him: "Can you write me a fire emblem smut story?"

Me: "Sure. What characters."

Him: "Anything as long as there is a girl involved."

So, yeah. That is quite a broad scene to set in. But then again it could be a challenge. I decided to think of some crack pairings (Lucius X Vaida anyone?) but maybe I could just make it more fun by adding the RNG.

First I'll roll my 6-sided dice.

1 or 2 will be Fire Emblem 7.

3 or 4 will be Fire Emblem 8.

5 or 6 will be PoR or RD.

Then I will go online and ask a RNG for 2 numbers. Down below I have the lists for each game the characters. The first will have all characters and the second all females inside of it. I might get a pretty tame or normal pairing or two people who never meet ever. I will re-roll the second number if the names match (super low chances though).

**The lists:**

**Blazing Sword:**

Eliwood 1 Rebecca

Marcus 2 Serra

Lowen 3 Priscilla

Rebecca 4 Lyn

Dorcas 5 Florina

Bartre 6 Fiora

Hector 7 Ninian

Oswin 8 Isadora

Serra 9 Farina

Matthew 10 Louise

Guy 11 Nino

Merlinus 12 Vaida

Erk 13 Karla

Priscilla 14 Ursula

Lyn 15 Sonia

Florina 16 Limstella

Will 17

Sain 18

Kent 19

Raven 20

Lucius 21

Canas 22

Dart 23

Fiora 24

Legault 25

Ninian 26

Isadora 27

Heath 28

Rath 29

Hawkeye 30

Geitz 31

Wallace 32

Farina 33

Pent 34

Louise 35

Karel 36

Harken 37

Nino 38

Jaffer 39

Vaida 40

Nils 41

Karla 42

Renault 43

Athos 44

Batta 45

Zugu 46

Glass 47

Migal 48

Garjiga 49

Bug 50

Bool 51

Heintz 52

Beyard 53

Yogi 54

Eagler 55

Lundgren 56

Groznyi 57

Wire 58

Zagan 59

Boise 60

Puzon 61

Erik 62

Sealen 63

Bauker 64

Bernard 65

Fargus 66

Damien 67

Zoldam 68

Uhai 69

Aion 70

Kishuna 71

Linus 72

Lloyd 73

Pascal 74

Kenneth 75

Jerme 76

Ursula 77

Maxime 78

Sonia 79

Denning 80

Limstella 81

Brendan 82

Nergal 83

Uncle Jan 84

Paul 85

Jasmine 86

Theodor 87

Eubens 88

Oleg 89

Cameron 90

Darin 91

**Sacred Stones:**

Eirika 1 Eirika

Seth 2 Vanessa

Frantz 3 Neimi

Gilliam 4 Lute

Vanessa 5 Natasha

Moulder 6 Tana

Ross 7 Amelia

Garcia 8 Tethys

Neimi 9 Marisa

Colm 10 L'Arachel

Arthur 11 Myrrh

Lute 12 Syrene

Natasha 13 Ismaire

Joshua 14 Selena

Eiphraim 15

Forde 16

Kyle 17

Orson 18

Tana 19

Amelia 20

Innes 21

Gerik 22

Tethys 23

Marisa 24

L'Arachel 25

Dozla 26

Salaeh 27

Ewan 28

Cormac 29

Rennac 30

Duessel 31

Knoll 32

Myrrh 33

Syrene 34

Caelleac 35

Riev 36

Ismaire 37

Selena 38

Glen 39

Hayden 40

Valter 41

Fado 42

Lyon 43

O'Neil 44

Breguet 45

Bone 46

Bazba 47

Saar 48

Zonta 49

Novala 50

Murray 51

Tirado 52

Binks 53

Pablo 54

Aias 55

Carlyle 56

Gheb 57

Beran 58

Vigarde 59

Morva 60

**PoR/RD:**

Ike 1 Titania

Titania 2 Mia

Boyd 3 Ilyana

Oscar 4 Mist

Rhys 5 Marcia

Shinon 6 Lethe

Gatrie 7 Nephenee

Greil 8 Jill

Soren 9 Astrid

Mia 10 Tanith

Illyana 11 Calill

Mist 12 Lucia

Rolf 13 Elincia

Marcia 14 Ena

Lethe 15 Petrine

Mordecai 16 Micaiah

Volke 17 Laura

Kieran 18 Nailah

Brom 19 Leanne

Nephenee 20 Heather

Zihark 21 Meg

Sothe 22 Fiona

Jill 23 Vika

Astrid 24 Lyre

Makalov 25 Sanaki

Tormod 26 Sigrun

Muarim 27 Catalena

Devdan 28 Ashera

Tanith 29 Yune

Reyson 30 Ashunera

Janaff 31 Amy

Ulki 32 Aimee

Calill 33

Tauroneo 34

Haar 35

Ranulf 36

Bastian 37

Lucia 38

Geoffrey 38

Largo 39

Elincia 40

Nasir 41

Ena 42

Tibarn 43

Neasala 44

Giffca 45

Oliver 46

Shiharam 47

Petrine 48

Bryce 49

Ashnard 50

Micaiah 51

Edward 52

Leonardo 53

Nolan 54

Laura 55

Aran 56

Meg 57

Volug 58

Fiona 59

Vika 60

Nailah 61

Rafiel 62

Burger King 63

Leanne 64

Nealuchi 65

Heather 66

Kyza 67

Lyre 68

Sigrun 69

Stefan 70

Skrimir 71

Sanaki 72

Pelleas 73

Caineghis 74

Kurthnaga 75

Renning 76

Gareth 77

Lehran 78

Zawana 79

Ikanau 80

Havetti 81

Maijin 82

Dakova 83

Emil 84

Balmer 85

Karuma 86

Nedata 87

Kotaff 88

Danomill 89

Mackoya 90

Seeker 91

Norris 92

Gashilama 93

Kimaarsi 94

Homasa 95

Kasatai 96

Schaeffer 97

Rikard 98

Gromell 99

Hafedd 100

Hedwynn 101

Pugo 102

Zaitan 103

Burton 104

Pain 105

Agony 106

Wystan 107

Laverton 108

Djur 109

Radmin 110

Jarod 111

Zeffren 112

Yeardley 113

Maraj 114

Tashoria 115

Ludveck 116

Silvano 117

Rommit 118

Istvan 119

Veyona 120

Callum 121

Lombroso 122

Kezhda 123

Septimus 124

Roark 125

Sergei 126

Goran 127

Yuma 128

Catalena 129

Valtome 130

Lekain 131

Numida 132

Hetzel 133

Izuka 134

Lekain 135

Levail 136

Dheginsea 137

Sephiran 138

Ashera 139

Yune 140

Ashunera 141

Rajaion 142

Almedha 143

Nico 144

Amy 145

Aimee 146

**Aaaaand now for the numbers per chapter.**

**Chapter 1:**

1d6 = 4 (Sacred Stones)

1d60 = 45 (Breguet)

1d14 = 4 (Lute)

**Chapter 2:**

1d6 = 6 (Por/RD)

1d146 = 80 (Ikanau)

1d32 = 29 (Yune)


	2. Lute X Breguet

**Chapter 1:**

1d6 = 4 (Sacred Stones)

1d60 = 45 (Breguet)

1d14 = 4 (Lute)

**A quaint town.**

His orders were clear. He and his unit were to take the long route through Renais at trice the normal speed. This way they could close the border between Renais and Frelia and prevent anyone from escaping to the north. To prevent losing speed they were ordered to abandon normal protocol of looting towns for valuables and instead use the tactics of the scorched earth. Any place of value whether it is a holy place, a community gathering place or a place of learning has to go up in flames. Afterwards they would ride onward without looking back. At maximum speed Breguet and his forces should be able to move from Serafew to the Frelian border in three days.

Breguet loathed the idea of mass murdering innocent villagers. Maybe this position was for the best considering he would use most off-beat roads and there were only two villages on the way. With the route he had planned he would avoid most towns such as Marnir and Ide while not losing too much speed.

He and his troops crossed the hill revealing a valley in front of them. They had to pass right through it and in the middle lay a quaint little village. Breguet readied his lance before giving the order to move in.

Though Breguet's force was only ten men strong they overran the local guard within minutes. A mere hour later the Grado men had killed the opposition and gathered the villagers on the town square. "That's all of them?" Breguet asked his first officer. The man nodded back. "As far as we know that's all of them." "Good" Breguet said. "Set up camp here for tonight and make sure no one leaves until we move on in the morning." The soldier bumped his fist on his chest and bowed. While the soldiers prepare the tents Breguet readied the torches. It was a horrible job to do but he was determined to take the burden alone. That way his men could keep a clear conscious.

Standing in front of the local school he set fire to his first torch and threw it at the wooden door. It had been a dry week and the building rapidly caught on fire. Next he moved on to the town hall and set it ablaze. Then it was the turn of the little chapel. He would pray twice as much for at least a month asking god forgiveness for this sacrilege. The last building left was the library.

It was the largest building in the little town and quite impressive to look at. The building date posted on top of the doorpost stated the building to be more then 2 centuries old. There had to be thousands of books inside, most likely gathering dust more then being read. It was a pity it had to go up in flames. Picking a match from it's box to lit a torch Breguet readied himself to set the building on fire when a voice called him out.

"Cease your actions vile man!" A harsh girl's voice said. Breguet raised his head to see in the door opening a young girl with purple hair. She was dressed as a mage and the tome in her hands only proved to confirm this. Those worthless curs he had been assigned to had forgotten to check inside the library. Moreover a mage was dangerous to attack alone. His attack has to be quick and merciless. He was not going to take any chances. He took his spear in both hands and charged forward. "Desist!" the girl shouted at him while charging her fire tome's spell. A large fireball flew toward Breguet just before he could get within thrusting range. Ducking to the side he could barely dodge the fire which was much stronger then what he had seen from most mages in his life. The brat was powerful. He scrambled back on his feet leaning to the Library's walls to gain his posture back. The girl had taken the moment to get some distance. Another straight charge would only be worse now that the effect of surprise was gone. But there was now a new opportunity. "You are quite the powerful mage." Breguet said. The girl smiled at the compliment. "Of course. After all I am perfection itself." Breguet's plan was working. While the girl was talking he slowly inched his way towards the doorway. "The likes of you could never hope to best me." The girl bragged. Breguet reached the door way and stepped inside.

Holding his lance in one hand Breguet once again reached for the torches in his backpack. "I won't let you do that." the girl shouts. She once again starts to charge up her tome's fire spell. Breguet grinned. "You sure you wanna do that?" He taps the wooden door behind him with his lance. "This stuff looks pretty flammable." Immediately she stopped her spell. He was right. Would she cast a spell now the library too would be set aflame. Breguet started laughing. "It's your choice girl. Watch me torch the place or burn it yourself!" His victory was sweet but the look on the girl's face was sweeter. Up till now she had had that confident look of superiority. Right now it had been reduced to a desperate look of powerlessness. He lit one of the torches ready to throw it inside when the girl dropped on her knees.

"P-please don't burn it." she stammered. Breguet laughed. "Or what?" "N-nothing." She continued. "I'll do anything so please don't burn my home." Breguet raised on of his eyebrows. "Anything?" A moment of silence fell, but then the girl looked up at the man with a slight sliver of hope in her teary eyes. "Yes, anything."

The girl was a pretty young thing and burning buildings was not something he wanted to do anyways. Maybe Breguet could get something nice out of this. After all how much harm could leaving a library in tact do to the conquest of Renais? "First throw away your tome." Breguet demanded. The girl complied launching the book sideways as far as she could. Even if she made a run for it she would arrive at the tome too late. She could no longer harm Breguet. "Now get over here and get on your knees." He pointed at the ground in front of him. She walked over using her sleeve to wipe the tears off her cheeks.

Lute knew what was going to happen next. The pig was already unbuttoning his pants. She had to stay strong and get through this. It was necessary to save the library. To preserve the knowledge. She drops down on her knees in front of him. Immediately the rough ground starts to hurt her knees which have been used to sit only on soft pillows while she reads books. The Grado soldier pulls out his cock being already half-erect. "Suck it. And no teeth!" He demands. Lute looks up at the man's face while taking his dick in her hand. He has a pompous smug drawn on his face. He doesn't deserve this. Not taking her gaze off the man's face she takes the cock in her mouth and starts sucking at a fast pace. Better to get it over with as soon as possible.

Breguet had expected more resistance from the girl. The reignited defiant look she was giving him told him she still had some fight in her but still she was bobbing her head up and down on top of his cock at a surprisingly fast speed. It was a pity she didn't use her tongue or put more effort in it to make it more enjoyable. As it was she was just pushing her lips over his member as loosely and sloppy as she could.

Lute had never done such a thing before and only seen it in books. Reading and studying was her forte and of course she had studied mating rituals of humans as well. A blowjob was what this was called. Surprisingly she didn't gag on the cock as the books had told her would happen when the cock goes in all the way. Maybe that was just because the dick was a pretty small one compared to an average human. Then again he seemed to be an inferior creature. An inferior creature that had beaten her in a clever way.

The blow job was maybe sloppy but it still was highly effective. Not having felt the touch of a woman in quite some time Breguet was already feeling his climax nearing. The little bitch had done well to pleasure him this fast. Any moment he could cum and he now faced another choice. Would he spray his seed over this girl's face and cover that defiant look of hers? Or maybe he should stain her insides by shooting off inside her throat.

The choice got made for him. His orgasm came so sudden he had not expected it himself and the first strand of semen shot into the girl's mouth. Lute too had not expected it and quickly opened her mouth to get the filthy thing out of her. Breguet was not going to let that happen though. With his left hand he forced his cock as far into her mouth as he could while shooting more of his sperm. With his other hand he pinched her nose shut so she couldn't breath. "Swallow it all bitch." he commanded.

Lute's eyes started tearing again. She was denied oxygen and the only taste she got in her mouth was deeply bitter. The goo was disgustingly thick and sticky. It took her multiple gulps to swallow it all down. Even when she had gotten rid of it all the aftertaste was just as disgusting.

Lute coughed when she finally got access to fresh air again. Breguet buttoned his pants back on before taking her arm and dragging her away. "You forgot this one." he said to his men when he returned to the town square. He threw Lute towards one of his men. "Make sure she stays quite along the others and keep an eye out for her." His smile widened. "Make sure she gets denied food and water until the morning. She was quite the handful and needs to be punished."

The next morning Breguet and his men moved on. The library was still in tact and the village was safe again for the moment. "Are you okay?" Arthus asks Lute when the men were finaly out of sight. "Yeah, I'm fine." she answered. "Just get me some water quick."

The taste was still lingering.

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Soooooooooo. Now the roll for the next chapter. I'll try to do one every week.

**Chapter 2:**

1d6 = 6 (Por/RD)

1d146 = 80 (Ikanau)

1d32 = 29 (Yune)

The second boss of PoR and the Dark Godess. How the hell am I going to get these two together? Whatever. I'll figure something out.


End file.
